The Old Man in the Wheelchair

By S. Prasetyo Utomo¹

Sitting in his wheelchair, an elderly man is pushed by a long-haired gentleman. It is still dark before dawn, as the long-haired man pushes the old man’s wheelchair across the apartment garden. It is tulip season. They follow the steps of a retired policeman. But the retired police officer does not recognize them. After shadowing the retired policeman to the mosque for four days, the elderly man’s face is shrunken into wrinkled skin, his eyes hollow.

The old man in the wheelchair waits for the retired policeman at the exit to the mosque. At the threshold the retired policeman’s steps are halted by the old man in the wheelchair.

“Don’t you remember me?” queries the old man in the wheelchair, his trembling voice filled with hope.

The retired policeman pauses, glances momentarily. He cannot place the old man in the wheelchair. There was once an encounter, but the man has undergone a change in demeanor.

“I am the man who ran away with your wife to Pamukkale²,” says the paralyzed old man. “I come to you to ask for forgiveness.”

Taken aback, the retired policeman gazes at the teary-eyed old man. He stays silent. He is surprised.

“If I knew it was to turn out like this I would never have dared to run away with your wife. I never expected to be paralyzed,” says the old man in the wheelchair. “Why don’t you just shoot me to put me out of my suffering?”

“I am not entitled to judge you.” The retired policeman walks away from the old man in the wheelchair. He never imagined the old man would lose his strength. So, who is the long-haired man who always pushes the wheelchair? He too has never understood why the old man is in this city.

Hasn’t he been living in Pamukkale all this while? Hasn’t he moved to the city of Konya?³

***

It is still early in the morning when the long-haired man pushes the paralyzed old wheelchair-bound man into the Mevlana Museum⁴. There are still only a few visitors paying homage at Rumi’s tomb⁵.

The retired policeman – a security officer at the Mevlana Museum – tries to avoid an encounter with the old man in the wheelchair. However, the old man in the wheelchair seems intent on conversing with him.

“I am staying in the city on purpose to ask for your forgiveness,” says the old man in the wheelchair.

“Since you ran away with my wife I have forgiven you,” replies the retired policeman. He has no interest in meeting with the old man in the wheelchair.

“In that case pray for me to recover as I was before,” replies the old man in the wheelchair.

“I will always pray for you to recover.” The retired policeman moves straight away from the old man in the wheelchair. He feels relieved when the old man leaves the Mevlana Museum. He hopes he won’t meet the old man in the wheelchair again. He does not wish to be entangled with the man who ran away with his wife, left the family, and moved to Pamukkale.

When the retired policeman’s wife became paralyzed and was to be sent to a nursing home, the retired policeman’s daughter Akila brought the paralyzed woman home to Konya. The retired policeman accepted his wife, who once ran away from him, who was now paralyzed, unable to speak, and who he cared for.

***

A new sema dance performance⁶ is just concluding at the Mevlana Cultural Centre. The retired policeman, wearing a long robe and towering hat, joins the sema dance accompanied by the baglama,⁷ tabla,⁸ and flute. He feels a calmness within his soul.

He never hurries to leave the performance hall. He waits for the hall to empty, devoid of spectators, and by himself he relishes the journey home to his apartment.

He reminisces about the time Kerem the sema dance teacher is still alive.

They would walk home together, gaze at the twinkling stars in silence, inhale the scent of the tulips, without conversation. Sometimes they stop by a restaurant to buy etli ekmek.⁹

With little conversation they savore the etli ekmek and drink ayran.¹⁰

Kerem occasionally speaks of Rumi’s poems and his eyes gleam.

Leaving the sema dance hall, the retired policeman is startled as he crosses paths with the old man in the wheelchair who stops him in his tracks.

“I have to ask you one thing.”

“Ask away!”

“You are a sema dancer, so surely you won’t lie,” says the old man in the wheelchair. “Someone once shot me in the wheat field. Luckily it only grazed my left shoulder. Was it you who ordered the person to shoot me?”

“Why would I order someone to shoot you? I hold no grudge or hatred against you in my heart.”

“He shot me of his own accord?”

“Definitely.”

The old man in the wheelchair still wants to ask a question. But the retired policeman walks away. The retired policeman wants to enjoy his solitude, walking in silence in the direction of his apartment, feeling the night breeze carrying memories of the fragrant tulips.

***

In the silence of the dawn prayer time, the old man in the wheelchair is already in the apartment garden waiting for the retired policeman to walk to the mosque. This time the retired policeman appears very calm as he faces the old man in the wheelchair.

“Pray for my swift recovery,” requests the old man in the wheelchair. “I sold the wheat field to pay for medical treatment. But up to now I remain paralyzed.”

“I’ll pray for your quick recovery.”

The old man in the wheelchair then shakes hands with the retired policeman.

“Thank you. If I had known my body would end up like this, I would never have run away with your wife.”

The retired policeman continues his journey to the mosque. He deliberately walks slowly, awaiting further conversation with the old man in the wheelchair. However, the old man does not make any more requests. The long-haired man pushes the old man’s wheelchair to the entrance of the mosque. The old man joins in performing the dawn time subuh prayers.

As the retired policeman leaves the mosque, he does not cross paths with the old man in the wheelchair again. He walks calmly, enjoying the reddening dawn sky.

***

The old man in the wheelchair can not believe the news that the retired policeman passed away after the final whirl of the sema dance at the Mevlana Cultural Center that night. In his heart he asks: why wasn’t it me who died? He asks his younger brother, the middle-aged man with long hair, to attend the retired policeman’s funeral.

As noon approaches the old man in the wheelchair watches the retired policeman’s funeral from afar.

The old man in the wheelchair catches a glimpse of the retired policeman’s wife among the mourners. The old woman is paralyzed, unable to speak, and is pushed by her son to the edge of the grave. Friends from the sema dancers also arrive, displaying serene faces.

The retired policeman’s friends from the Mevlana Museum also pay their respects with sincere faces. Their eyes seem to unveil the light of love behind the retired policeman’s funeral.

The scent of the tulips blooming in the city’s gardens is borne on the breeze. The old man in the wheelchair breathes in the gentle fragrance of the tulips from all eight directions of the compass.

***

“I have to take you to this nursing home,” says the long-haired man to the old man in the wheelchair. It is still early in the day, and the nursing home residents are having breakfast. “You have to live your life here.”

“Don’t you want to care for me any longer?”

“There are many carers who will look after you,” says the long-haired man. “I need to work to support my family. I cannot care for you forever.”

With that the man with long hair leaves the old man in the wheelchair. Not once does he look back. He takes long strides through the colorful tulip garden, gets into his car, and leaves his older brother without any sense of pity.

A middle-aged female nurse approaches the old man in the wheelchair. She pushes his wheelchair into his room. The old man in the wheelchair feels like an outcast.

The scent of the tulips he inhales does not bring peace to his soul.

Konya, July 2022—Pandana Merdeka, March 2023

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Source: The Old Man in the Wheelchair (Lelaki Tua Di Kursi Roda) was published in the daily newspaper Solopos, July 1, 2023. Retrieved from https://ruangsastra.com/31116/lelaki-tua-di-kursi-roda/ [Accessed 23 Nov 2023.]

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Footnotes:

1. Dr. S. Prasetyo Utomo (born January 7, 1961) is an Indonesian writer and academician affiliated with Universitas PGRI Semarang. He is renowned for his literary works, including essays, poetry, and short stories, published in various newspapers in Indonesia. Prasetyo Utomo is recognized as a prominent figure in the emergence of contextual literature discourse in the 1980s. Born in Yogyakarta on January 7, 1961. Since 1983, he has actively contributed essays, poetry, short stories, novels, and articles to several newspapers, including Horison, Kompas, Jawa Pos, Suara Pembaruan, Republika, Koran Tempo, Media Indonesia, Bisnis Indonesia, Nova, Seputar Indonesia, Suara Karya, Mutiara, Pelita, Jayakarta, Majalah Noor, among others. Three times, Prasetyo Utomo’s name has been featured in Kompas’ Selected Short Stories, in 2008, 2009, and 2010.
   Bibliography:
   “Perdebatan Sastra Kontekstual” (Contextual Literary Debate, essay anthology, 1985)
   “Antologi Puisi Jawa Tengah” (Central Java Poetry Anthology, poetry anthology, 1994)
   “Serayu” (poetry anthology, 1995)
   “Ritus” (short story anthology, 1995)
   “Lawang Sewoe” (poetry anthology, 1996)
   “Sesudah Layar Turun” (poetry anthology, 1996)
   “Jentera Terkasa” (poetry anthology, 1998)
   “Horison Sastra Indonesia 2 Kitab Cerpen” (Indonesian Literary Horizon 2 Short Story Book, 2002)
   “Cerita-cerita Pengantin” (Bridal Stories, short story anthology, 2004)
   “Bidadari Sigar Rasa” (Angels of Sigar Rasa, short story anthology, 2005)
   “Forum Sastra Indonesia Hari Ini: Jawa Tengah” (Indonesian Literary Forum Today: Central Java, 2010)
   “Bidadari Meniti Pelangi” (Angels Walking on the Rainbow, novel, Kompas Book Publisher, 2005)
   “Tangis Rembulan di Hutan Berkabut” (Tears of the Moon in the Misty Forest, novel, HO Publishing, 2009)
   “Tarian Dua Wajah” (Dance of Two Faces, Novel, Alfabet, 2016)
   “Cermin Jiwa” (Mirror of the Soul, Novel, Alfabet, 2017)
   “Percumbuan Topeng” (Mask Encounter, Novel, Cipta Prima Nusantara, 2022)
   Awards:
   Cultural Award 2007 from the Ministry of Culture and Tourism for the short story “Cermin Jiwa,” published in Kompas on May 12, 2007
   Literary Acarya Award 2015 from the Language Development and Development Agency
   Selected Short Story Kompas 2008
   Selected Short Story Kompas 2009
   Selected Short Story Kompas 2010 ↩︎
2. Pamukkale is located in the southwestern part of Turkey, in the Denizli Province. It’s known for its stunning natural beauty, particularly its unique travertine terraces formed by mineral-rich hot springs. These terraces, which resemble cotton or snow cascading down the hillsides, have been a UNESCO World Heritage Site since 1988.
   The town of Pamukkale is also home to the ancient city of Hierapolis, an archaeological site with well-preserved ruins, including a theater, necropolis, Roman baths, and more. Hierapolis was once a thriving Roman and Byzantine city built around the natural hot springs. Today, visitors come to Pamukkale not only to witness its surreal landscape but also to explore the historical and archaeological wonders of Hierapolis. ↩︎
3. Konya is a city in Turkey. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Konya. ↩︎
4. The Mevlana Museum, dedicated to the 13th-century poet and philosopher Rumi (also known as Mevlana), is located in Konya, Turkey. Konya is a city in the central part of Turkey and holds significant cultural and historical importance due to its association with Rumi, who founded the Mevlevi Order, known for its whirling dervishes.
   The museum is situated at the site of the mausoleum of Rumi, which also houses his tomb. It is a place of pilgrimage for followers of Rumi’s teachings and Sufi philosophy. The museum exhibits manuscripts, artifacts, and displays related to Rumi’s life, teachings, and the Mevlevi Order. ↩︎
5. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rumi. ↩︎
6. Sema dancing is a sacred ritual deeply associated with Sufism, the mystical dimension of Islam. This dance form is most famously linked with the Mevlevi Order, a Sufi order founded in Turkey by followers of the poet and mystic Rumi, known as Mevlana or Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi.
   The sema ceremony, often referred to as the “whirling dervishes,” is a mesmerizing dance where the practitioners, called semazen or dervishes, spin in repetitive, graceful motions. The dancers wear long white robes (symbolizing burial shrouds), tall hats called sikke (representing tombstones), and their movements reflect a spiritual journey towards divine union.
   The dance itself is symbolic of the cosmic dance of the universe, with the dancers spinning counterclockwise, one hand reaching towards the heavens and the other towards the earth. This motion signifies the reception of divine grace from above and the transmission of that grace to humanity and the world.
   The significance of sema dancing in Sufism lies in its spiritual symbolism:
   Ecstasy and Remembrance of God: The repetitive spinning induces a trance-like state, allowing the dervishes to disconnect from worldly matters and attain a heightened spiritual state. Through this dance, they aim to achieve a state of ecstasy known as “mystical intoxication” or “sukr,” a symbolic experience of being closer to God.
   Unity and Love: The whirling motion symbolizes the universal movement and the unity of all creation. It’s a representation of the planets revolving around the sun, emphasizing unity in diversity and the interconnectedness of all beings. This dance is a profound expression of love, both towards the divine and towards all humanity.
   Spiritual Journey: The spinning motion is also a metaphorical journey. As the dervishes whirl, they symbolically ascend through the mind and love, reaching spiritual maturity and embracing the truth.
   Consciousness and Surrender: Sema dancing is a form of meditation and a way to transcend the self. The dancers aim to empty themselves of personal desires and ego, surrendering to the divine will and achieving a state of heightened consciousness.
   Overall, sema dancing is a deeply spiritual practice within Sufism, representing a seeker’s journey towards spiritual awakening, self-awareness, and union with the divine, all expressed through the mesmerizing and symbolic movements of the dervishes. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sama_(Sufism). ↩︎
7. Baglama: a musical instrument, a long-necked lute. ↩︎
8. Tabla: a traditional percussion instrument. ↩︎
9. Etli ekmek: bread with meat, a specialty of Konya. ↩︎
10. Ayran: a drink made from yogurt, water, and salt. ↩︎

Related reading:

Wang Gungwu and Australian Academy of the Humanities. Self and Biography : Essays on the Individual and Society in Asia. Sydney University Press for the Australian Academy of the Humanities 1976.