Coming and Going
By Mochtar Lubis
The first time she comes into his life. Arrives just like that. He is not waiting for her. Not waiting. Not expecting. Not hoping. Like a bolt of lightning cracking, splitting the dark sky. Suddenly everything is illuminated. That is how she arrives. The shine of her glittering black eyes seems to invite you. Embrace your whole body. Her red lips ample, at times smiling full of promise. Her warm body moves, swaying with mystical promise. And her beautiful rhythmic voice which enters your ears, and touches your heart, and awakens a strange feeling that spreads throughout your body. And her laugh. Encompassing every joy in the world.
“I am only happy with you.”
“Do you truly mean that?”
“Don’t you trust me yet?”
“Sometimes it all seems like just a dream.”
“Haven’t I given you everything you asked for?”
And him. He is silent, because how would he be able to answer her? And he remembers the nights, the moments, with the woman. Flirting and laughing. Hugging and kissing. Their house small and simple. Full of flowers.
The laughter of young children. Their children. They have fought then they have made up again. If he comes by some extra money, he buys her special presents. And one time they went to a store. Looking for an outfit for her. She chose. Deep red Bemberg silk fabric with tiny flowers. She is wearing it now. Cut low at the front, making her cleavage visible.
“What would you like?”
“Ice cream.”
“A special?”
“All right.”
“Something to eat?”
“You?”
“I’m not that hungry, but, okay.”
“Just fried vermicelli.”
“Okay, let’s share a plate between two.”
In his life he has known many women, savored them. But there has never been anyone like this, no-one who can move his feelings so strongly. Who devours his whole attention, his thoughts, his feelings. What would he not give for this woman? His wealth, his life.
“What do you want to ask for? Diamond necklaces, gold rings? Diamond necklaces to decorate your elegant neck and your white breasts? Rings for your delicate refined fingers?” And he imagines going for a swim with the woman. Swimming. Playing together. Now and then their bodies touch, pretending unintentionally. Cool soft skin. The shape of her body with young firm fresh flesh that appears visible because of the wet bathing suit. Which is now also still visible in the Bemberg silk top she is wearing. A dark red top with small flowers.
He smiles to himself.
His imagination flies away. They climb into the car. A new Studebaker convertible. Hood down. On the road to Priok.
He is driving, the woman sitting next to him. Morning. No. Night. Yes, moonlight. In the sky the moon and stars, shining on the woman’s hair and eyes. The wind plays with her hair. Strokes her cheeks. The smell of her hair entered his nose. To Cilincing. At the seaside. White sand. The roar of the waves hitting the beach and then whispering gently their story. For the two of them alone.
“Please, dear, call the boy.”
“What would you like?”
“Pickles.”
“All right.”
And his imagination drifts again. How one night the woman dances for him. Dresses in a special way. As he used to imagine, as he read in the book One Thousand and One Nights, or watched in films about tales full of women dancing. The dance is accompanied by music that makes the body hot. And the woman dances only for himself. Only for him alone. How lucky he is. To have a woman such as this.
“You don’t want to eat anymore?”
“I’m really full.”
“Hey, boy. How much is it? Ten rupiahs? Here. Just keep the change.”
And they stand up. The beautiful woman, her dark eyes shining, shining as if inviting, seeking to embrace his whole body, leaves, her warm body swaying full of mystical promise, arm in arm with her husband.
In the center they have left the empty plates. Bones chewed over are on the plates, glasses half empty. And he is left by himself. Before him too is an empty plate. For a long time he ponders staring at the empty plate. Empty like the plate is how his heart feels. The woman has come and gone. And he is still alone. With his dreams.
Source: Datang dan Pergi (Coming and Going) is a story from the short story collection of Lubis, Mochtar. Si Djamal : dan tjerita2 lain / oleh Mochtar Lubis Gapura Djakarta 1950, p.97.
Featured image credit: Gambar hiasan oleh Nasrun AS. See other work by and about Nasrun AS:
- Amura. & Nasrun A. S. 1952, Indonesia pertama kali dalam pameran internasional / [disusun oleh Nasroen A. S. dan Amura] Bulan Bintang [Djakarta
- Indonesia. Departemen Penerangan. & Nasrun A. S. & Alimin, H. D. P. Sati. & Man, I.T. 1953, Pahlawan kemerdekaan / Departemen Penerangan, [perentajana-penjelenggara Nasroen A.S. dan D.P. Sati Alimin ; pelukis I.T. Man … dan lain-lain] Departemen Penerangan [Jakarta
- Indonesia. Departemen Penerangan. & Nasrun A. S. & Alimin, H. D. P. Sati. & Man, I.T. 1960, Pahlawan kemerdekaan / Departemen Penerangan, [perentjana-penjelenggara Nasroen A.S. dab D.P. Sati Alimin ; pelukis I.T. Man … dan lain-lain] Departemen Penerangan [Jakarta
- Mappapa, P.L. (2016) Dulu Komik Indonesia Pernah Berjaya, detikx. Available at: https://news.detik.com/x/detail/intermeso/20161228/Dulu-Komik-Indonesia-Pernah-Berjaya/ (Accessed: 2 January 2023).
- Nasrun A. S. & Pandy, J. C. & Indonesia. Departemen Penerangan. 1956, Indonesia, an invitation / [Photographs: Ministry of Information, Republik-Indonesia, Djakarta ; front cover photograph: J.C. Pandy, Sanur (Bali) ; layout: Nasroen A.S., Djakarta] W. van Hoeve Bandung ; The Hague
- Yayasan Idayu; Perpustakaan Nasional. ([1940]). gambar bersama [gambar] : gambar bersama (dari kiri ke kanan) : Masah Alif Baharoedin Turki (wartawan), Nasrun A.S.. (Note: 3 foto : hitam putih ; 11,5 x 8,5 cm.)
Sejarah Cilincing, Jakarta Utara
http://hdl.handle.net/10648/fb4b7ca5-8c04-77a8-f4b0-5a6bd2febaf0
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